Husband abuse - H4 to F1 after with aunt's sponsor

[gsuuser]

I have more than 4 yrs of experience and i can get assistantship easily. Unfortunately at my school, students are strongly recommended to go in-person to attain one. They are not ready to give it otherwise. I am still trying though. Applied for scholarships too.

[forgerator]

what does your husband do for a living? since you already spent 2 yrs in marriage, you should consider divorcing him in the US because you are legally entitled to half the property accumulated within those 2 yrs of marriage.

[gsuuser]

he is holding a very good position and is earning good too.. in fact his materialistic view towards life even towards us, lead to our separation. i am better of not getting a single penny from him. i still remember giving him receipt for my baby's expenditure for reimbursement during our final days together..all i can say about his money - "yuck!"

i want nothing but a decent divorce with full custody of my daughter[he wont come for my baby too. its a lot of work]

anyways, thanks for ur concern.

[forgerator]

Originally Posted by gsuuser

he is holding a very good position and is earning good too.. in fact his materialistic view towards life even towards us, lead to our separation. i am better of not getting a single penny from him. i still remember giving him receipt for my baby's expenditure for reimbursement during our final days together..all i can say about his money - "yuck!"

i want nothing but a decent divorce with full custody of my daughter[he wont come for my baby too. its a lot of work]

anyways, thanks for ur concern.

Why are you saying you are better off not getting a single penny from him?? I'm sorry but you are being naive. That is the wrong attitude. You need to talk to a divorce lawyer and he will guide you through the process. Actually the longer you stay separated the better it works in your favor, he is probably not realizing what a foolish thing he's doing. Once you start working with a divorce lawyer he will take care of the rest.

Just to give you an idea, my friend went through the same ordeal, his wife separated after 5 yrs of marriage and then filed for divorce. She ended up with half of everything , including things like Car, Savings account, 401k split, Equity split in house, stocks , retirement account etc. All told probably she got in access of around 100k and since they had a young daughter, she also gets child support of up to 1000$ / mo from my friend. My friend got a real dose of reality, he didn't know what hit him but he got straightened out pretty good. FYI in this case I told him it was his fault for not treating his wife better.

So don't be foolish, get a good lawyer and start with the divorce proceedings, he will tell you in fact how much you would expect out of the settlement. You yourself said that he has a materialistic view of life, so your step would actually cause him to rethink this attitude Don't remain a victim, be brave and step up.

[gsuuser]

even if don't have the luxury now i am sure i can earn everything you had mentioned - car, bank balance, stocks etc etc. but what i cant earn is "time" and "peace of mind" that i posses now. he denied any type of financial assistance and openly threatened me to leave the country before he gets a green card. he said he will be pissed off to see me getting GC via him. i am not afraid or scared about this. i honestly feel disgusting. he can get as low as nobody can and has very good support system for that too. i don't have either. for getting a lift with our mutual friend to the airport, he accused me of dash dash dash. he accused me of stealing his credit card!. this is just 2%. i am tired of his"shocking" accusations. i know he is doing this to suppress me..again, its not getting afraid. its like enough throwing stone in the mud! i already lost many many valuable things out of this relation and i am not ready to take any more.

anyways, as u said i will work with my lawyer too and find the best way to come out..

[thomachan72]

Originally Posted by forgerator

Why are you saying you are better off not getting a single penny from him?? I'm sorry but you are being naive. That is the wrong attitude. You need to talk to a divorce lawyer and he will guide you through the process. Actually the longer you stay separated the better it works in your favor, he is probably not realizing what a foolish thing he's doing. Once you start working with a divorce lawyer he will take care of the rest.

Just to give you an idea, my friend went through the same ordeal, his wife separated after 5 yrs of marriage and then filed for divorce. She ended up with half of everything , including things like Car, Savings account, 401k split, Equity split in house, stocks , retirement account etc. All told probably she got in access of around 100k and since they had a young daughter, she also gets child support of up to 1000$ / mo from my friend. My friend got a real dose of reality, he didn't know what hit him but he got straightened out pretty good. FYI in this case I told him it was his fault for not treating his wife better.

So don't be foolish, get a good lawyer and start with the divorce proceedings, he will tell you in fact how much you would expect out of the settlement. You yourself said that he has a materialistic view of life, so your step would actually cause him to rethink this attitude Don't remain a victim, be brave and step up.

I totally support the suggestion given in this post. It need not be your priority now but once you get the visa situation settled and then with God's grace are able to come to the US this is certainly the way you should go. I also know a couple which went through a divorse and in that case we all sympathized with the husband but even then the wife given her economic situation was continously obtaining the child support etc from the husband. In that case the husband who is my friend accuses the wife of having a paranoid personality (suspicious of everything). Even then she was ordered to receive payments every month from the husband and the court ordered him to stay away from her (dont know what the distance was). This is the law and you should go with it. If you need support for that you can certainly get it once you come here.

[permfiling]

Originally Posted by gsuuser

even if don't have the luxury now i am sure i can earn everything you had mentioned - car, bank balance, stocks etc etc. but what i cant earn is "time" and "peace of mind" that i posses now. he denied any type of financial assistance and openly threatened me to leave the country before he gets a green card. he said he will be pissed off to see me getting GC via him. i am not afraid or scared about this. i honestly feel disgusting. he can get as low as nobody can and has very good support system for that too. i don't have either. for getting a lift with our mutual friend to the airport, he accused me of dash dash dash. he accused me of stealing his credit card!. this is just 2%. i am tired of his"shocking" accusations. i know he is doing this to suppress me..again, its not getting afraid. its like enough throwing stone in the mud! i already lost many many valuable things out of this relation and i am not ready to take any more.

anyways, as u said i will work with my lawyer too and find the best way to come out..

You mentioned that you had taken the baby to india. As per court you can't do that with the father's consent so if you go to court, he will have visitation rights etc so you have to bring the baby (US citizen) back to US and you have to take care of the baby with the alimony payments you get.

[permfiling]

Well I don't know gsuuser's situation but indian wives tend to take advantage of the US judicial system. Why can't indian citizens go to india and get the divorce when they both got married in india ....

[gsuuser]

thanks everyone..

i have the same idea as permfiling too. to file divorce in India. as u all mentioned, for my baby's passport, visa etc - everything needed his consent and he took cruel advantage out of it.with his temper, its not at all safe for me or my baby to be anywhere near him. he threw the car seat once [luckily baby was not inside], hysterically jabbed the knife in the dining table, took the car in a temper without restraining baby in the car seat, screaming most offensive words and actions in front of the baby.. there are many many many.. that's one of the reason i am trying to get a mutual divorce without any pending issues. once for all. if he even think of hurting my child, i will get a restraining order.

[gsuuser]

hi all.. sorry to disturb once again. one quick question.. the bank manager said he can give me 12L based on my 15L fixed deposit. can i add these up and show as a 27L assistance for i20 and visa purposes ?

[gsuuser]

this 12L will be personal loan...

[thomachan72]

Originally Posted by gsuuser

this 12L will be personal loan...

If you have 15L in FD and an additional 12L from personal load then ofcourse the total is 27for I20 purpose.

[gsuuser]

thanks.. yes. but still, this 12L is based on the 15 L.. wouldn't it be an issue?

[gsuuser]

Everyone, After a lot of struggle, I successfully got I20, Visa and guess what? 2 days after my visa was approved, i got an full tuition waver assistantship along with a stipend. Thanks everyone and immigration voice for bringing u together.

[andycool]

Originally Posted by gsuuser

Everyone, After a lot of struggle, I successfully got I20, Visa and guess what? 2 days after my visa was approved, i got an full tuition waver assistantship along with a stipend. Thanks everyone and immigration voice for bringing u together.

Congrats....and all the best for your further education

Andy