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iv_only_hope
07-21-2008, 10:33 PM
Good one from a poster.

"COLTS: Chronic Obsessive LUD-Tracking Syndrome.

There are too many afflicted on this forum, and it's bad for you. Symptoms:

1- Logging onto your USCIS profile page more than once a day to look for any LUD changes, not realizing that LUDs are, for the most part, overrated.

2- Looking for LUDs when you are not supposed to see one, and/or freaking out when you don't see one. Examples: Filing for an EAD or AP renewal and then obsessively waiting to see an LUD on your I-485; seeing an LUD on your dependent's case and panicking when you don't see one on yours too (or vice versa); or having your fingerprints taken and then panicking when you don't see an LUD within 2 hours.

3- Panicking, freaking out, or perhaps experiencing a rush of euphoria for no reason when you DO see an LUD. Examples: You are not yet within processing time for your application but you see a random LUD that is probably just a system update; or you see an LUD on an application that was approved several months or years ago (in extreme disease cases, only 2 days ago) and have a meltdown because you think the approval is going to be revoked or that there is some other problem with your approved case.

4- Giving advice to others who are freaking out for no reason without informing them that they are freaking out for no reason, thus propagating and encouraging COLTS.

5- Getting upset, dismayed, or offended by this post. That's a BIG indication that you're suffering from COLTS.

Remember folks, COLTS is bad for you."

vxg
07-21-2008, 10:40 PM
Dude,
COLTS is an NFL team which I really like.
Good one from a poster.

"COLTS: Chronic Obsessive LUD-Tracking Syndrome.

There are too many afflicted on this forum, and it's bad for you. Symptoms:

1- Logging onto your USCIS profile page more than once a day to look for any LUD changes, not realizing that LUDs are, for the most part, overrated.

2- Looking for LUDs when you are not supposed to see one, and/or freaking out when you don't see one. Examples: Filing for an EAD or AP renewal and then obsessively waiting to see an LUD on your I-485; seeing an LUD on your dependent's case and panicking when you don't see one on yours too (or vice versa); or having your fingerprints taken and then panicking when you don't see an LUD within 2 hours.

3- Panicking, freaking out, or perhaps experiencing a rush of euphoria for no reason when you DO see an LUD. Examples: You are not yet within processing time for your application but you see a random LUD that is probably just a system update; or you see an LUD on an application that was approved several months or years ago (in extreme disease cases, only 2 days ago) and have a meltdown because you think the approval is going to be revoked or that there is some other problem with your approved case.

4- Giving advice to others who are freaking out for no reason without informing them that they are freaking out for no reason, thus propagating and encouraging COLTS.

5- Getting upset, dismayed, or offended by this post. That's a BIG indication that you're suffering from COLTS.

Remember folks, COLTS is bad for you."

iv_only_hope
07-21-2008, 10:58 PM
I know. Like I said from a poster. Also, take it lightly!
If you find it offensive delete this thread.


Dude,
COLTS is an NFL team which I really like.

mirage
07-21-2008, 11:16 PM
I find it quite interesting, good one. I logged into the USCIS website last time about 2 years ago when I registered it. May be because I am EB-3 I and do not hope any LUD SHUD change anytime soon. But there are some people who are overly obsessed with Green Card. I have few friends who are citizens now, they are more worried about my Green card than I am...

malibuguy007
07-21-2008, 11:43 PM
Nice one - thank god that I am not showing the above symptoms :)

iv_only_hope
07-21-2008, 11:52 PM
Well, to give an example this is one of the few threads I found on one immigration forum:

"Hi, I have submitted ny EAD renewal on 7/2/08. Last LUD on EAD was 7/7/08.
Today I got a soft LUD on I-485. Did anybody else get this during EAD renewal? Is this common? Is there anything to be excited about?"

mirage
07-22-2008, 12:11 AM
I fell from my chair, couldn't control my laughter...
Well, to give an example this is one of the few threads I found on one immigration forum:

"Hi, I have submitted ny EAD renewal on 7/2/08. Last LUD on EAD was 7/7/08.
Today I got a soft LUD on I-485. Did anybody else get this during EAD renewal? Is this common? Is there anything to be excited about?"

iv_only_hope
07-22-2008, 12:43 AM
Neither could I.

I fell from my chair, couldn't control my laughter...

ashkam
07-22-2008, 09:15 AM
I agree entirely. No matter how many times you tell people that each time someone at USCIS sneezes, you get an LUD, there'll still be someone opening a new thread asking why they got an LUD.

StuckInTheMuck
07-22-2008, 09:24 AM
I agree entirely. No matter how many times you tell people that each time someone at USCIS sneezes, you get an LUD, there'll still be someone opening a new thread asking why they got an LUD.
And then there are others opening new threads on why they ask why they got LUDS :)

soorigadu2003
07-22-2008, 10:27 AM
thanks,,thats a good one and sadly i have COLTS

BTW, what is a LUD?

StuckInTheMuck
07-22-2008, 10:45 AM
BTW, what is a LUD?
To some it is "last updated date", to others (as the guy who fell from his chair) "laughably useless device".

chanduv23
07-22-2008, 10:57 AM
Most people discuss these things in anonymity ie with a anonymous handle. Almost everyone are equally concerned about LUD etc...but do not discuss these things openly because they are shy to discuss these things in open.

People love to discuss these things on forums - it is the thrill and happiness in comparing LUD changes, trying to form patterns, trying to draw graphs. Predicting bulletins, analyzing situations, personal theories ....... on top of all these things USCIS has alwaysemerged winner by proving all these theories are wrong and there is no way we can think the way they think.

I would let people do what they like to do. Let people enjoy life - let people get excited and drink a beer when they see a LUD :)

jk999
07-22-2008, 11:00 AM
It's interesting now that you talk about this. On a funny note, when the cut-off dates for EB-2(I) jumped more than 2 years in the last bulletin, I have since been spending a lot of time reading IV forums (especially predictions). For a couple of nights I couldn't even sleep well:rolleyes:. Too much going on in the head:eek:. All anxiety.

I am EB-2(I) Aug, 2007.

gimme_GC2006
07-22-2008, 11:29 AM
I know. Like I said from a poster. Also, take it lightly!
If you find it offensive delete this thread.

LOL...goodone...then I am in final stages of this disease :D:D

eb2_mumbai
07-22-2008, 11:44 AM
Since the new visa bulletin I am also gripped by COLTS syndrome. My PD is Feb 06

pappu
07-22-2008, 11:47 AM
LUD is nothing but a Lassi of Uncertainity and Dard (pain).

The more you have/track it, the more you will get Soft and Hard panic attacks.

abracadabra102
07-22-2008, 01:10 PM
LOL. good one. Let me check if there are any LUD changes today.....

panky72
07-22-2008, 01:28 PM
It's interesting now that you talk about this. On a funny note, when the cut-off dates for EB-2(I) jumped more than 2 years in the last bulletin, I have since been spending a lot of time reading IV forums (especially predictions). For a couple of nights I couldn't even sleep well:rolleyes:. Too much going on in the head:eek:. All anxiety.

I am EB-2(I) Aug, 2007.

May be you are suffering from IV Syndrome caused by sudden jump in VB dates :D
Typical symptoms include:
* Anxiety
* Insomnia
* Dry/Itchy eyes (looking at computer screen for too long)
* Weight gain (sitting too long on chair, munching snacks!!!)
* Limited social contact (being on computer all the time)

PS: This disease can co-exist with COLTS Disease :D

gccovet
07-22-2008, 01:30 PM
Good one from a poster.

"COLTS: Chronic Obsessive LUD-Tracking Syndrome.

There are too many afflicted on this forum, and it's bad for you. Symptoms:

1- Logging onto your USCIS profile page more than once a day to look for any LUD changes, not realizing that LUDs are, for the most part, overrated.

2- Looking for LUDs when you are not supposed to see one, and/or freaking out when you don't see one. Examples: Filing for an EAD or AP renewal and then obsessively waiting to see an LUD on your I-485; seeing an LUD on your dependent's case and panicking when you don't see one on yours too (or vice versa); or having your fingerprints taken and then panicking when you don't see an LUD within 2 hours.

3- Panicking, freaking out, or perhaps experiencing a rush of euphoria for no reason when you DO see an LUD. Examples: You are not yet within processing time for your application but you see a random LUD that is probably just a system update; or you see an LUD on an application that was approved several months or years ago (in extreme disease cases, only 2 days ago) and have a meltdown because you think the approval is going to be revoked or that there is some other problem with your approved case.

4- Giving advice to others who are freaking out for no reason without informing them that they are freaking out for no reason, thus propagating and encouraging COLTS.

5- Getting upset, dismayed, or offended by this post. That's a BIG indication that you're suffering from COLTS.

Remember folks, COLTS is bad for you."

Hilarious!!!! :D , ROFL
Thanks.

NolaIndian32
07-22-2008, 02:11 PM
Can someone please explain the term "Soft LUD"? :D All jokes aside, this is one term I have still not figured out.

StuckInTheMuck
07-22-2008, 02:16 PM
All jokes aside, "soft" LUD means nothing happens (USCIS does not get in touch with you, either via email or smail) after the LUD appears.

NolaIndian32
07-22-2008, 02:20 PM
So the term SOFT LUD is something "we" made up? This is not a USCIS term? And I just read another thread which used the term HARD LUD. rotfl :D

chanduv23
07-22-2008, 02:31 PM
So the term SOFT LUD is something "we" made up? This is not a USCIS term? And I just read another thread which used the term HARD LUD. rotfl :D

As soon as you see the LUD you have a feeling that USCIS gave you a "HARD SLAP" - such LUDs are called Hard LUD :D :D :D

StuckInTheMuck
07-22-2008, 03:09 PM
So the term SOFT LUD is something "we" made up? This is not a USCIS term? And I just read another thread which used the term HARD LUD. rotfl :D
Actually, USCIS should partly own up responsibility for these terms. This is what they say about LUDs (at the bottom of your "portfolio list", if you have an online account with them):

Note on "Last Updated" date: Your case may have a new "Last Updated" date and you may receive an Email Notification of your case being updated, without the status of the case changing. This is due to internal USCIS processing being performed on your Case. This will be reflected in the "Last Updated" date, but may not result in a different status message.

So, the degree of softness or hardness of LUDs (I have hard time keeping a straight face :)) will depend on, whether, 1) nothing happens, 2) you get email but online status does not change, 3) your status changes but you do not get email, 4) you get email and status changes, 5) the assigned IO makes a stupid mistake, 6) USCIS server crashes.

lord_labaku
07-22-2008, 03:13 PM
Ganpathi Bhagwan ko Swadisht LUDdu bahuth pasand hei. Agar hum modak hasth Ganesh ji ki pooja karen tho hamen zaroor LUDdu ki prasad milegi. Hamare mehneth ki phal milegi aur hamare GC ki kamnayen safal hogi.

jaithran
07-22-2008, 04:15 PM
BTW what is LUD?

ZeroComplexity
07-22-2008, 04:32 PM
I can tell you but it might give you COLTS :)

BTW what is LUD?

conchshell
07-22-2008, 04:38 PM
BTW what is LUD?
Least Updated Desi (LUD) who is dying to get as much info from USCIS as possible. :) :mad:

Anyway, jokes apart, LUD is Last Updated Date. If you have created a portfolio of cases on USCIS website, its the last time a particular case of yours that was electronically updated by USCIS. Its called soft because the applicant does not get any communication from USCIS.

Now you will ask how to create a portfolio of your cases ... and that's when you get caught by COLTS :D

justareader
07-22-2008, 05:21 PM
That I am definitely suffering from COLTS

This thread has made me realize my symptoms :o :eek:

techskill
07-22-2008, 06:05 PM
c'mon guys.Keep up the good work. Till now we have 3 different terms

laughably useless device
Least Updated Desi
Lassi of Uncertainity and Dard (pain).

jayleno
07-22-2008, 06:37 PM
How about adding more diseases?

ROD - Red dot Obsession Disorder
I self diagnosed myself of this disorder and recovering :)

Symptoms...in mild cases.
1. PM admin and asking them to remove some red dots

Symptoms...in advanced cases.
1. Opening a new thread regarding red dots
2. Threatening to quit IV
3. Giving random people red dots out of frustration that the one who gave them is anonymous.

Mine was a mild case. You know I'm kidding guys....dont give me red dots now and push me into advanced stage of the disorder :P

c'mon guys.Keep up the good work. Till now we have 3 different terms

laughably useless device
Least Updated Desi
Lassi of Uncertainity and Dard (pain).

whiteStallion
07-22-2008, 06:47 PM
How about adding more diseases?

ROD - Red dot Obsession Disorder
I self diagnosed myself of this disorder and recovering :)

Symptoms...in mild cases.
1. PM admin and asking them to remove some red dots

Symptoms...in advanced cases.
1. Opening a new thread regarding red dots
2. Threatening to quit IV
3. Giving random people red dots out of frustration that the one who gave them is anonymous.

Mine was a mild case. You know I'm kidding guys....dont give me red dots now and push me into advanced stage of the disorder :P

Good one... I know what you are talking about :)

anilsal
07-22-2008, 07:29 PM
It seems to be a common problem in the IV community.

fromnaija
07-22-2008, 07:34 PM
It seems to be a common problem in the IV community.

The only cure for COLTS is - receiving green card in the mail.

nk2006
07-23-2008, 02:46 PM
Nice thread - had fun reading.

BTW, I think COLTS is contagious - I think I got it from a friend who claimed how his soft LUD's turned into Hard LUD's (and more) and explained the precise details like how long one has to wait to dertermine if a LUD is soft or hard etc. yeah......his COLTS is in advanced stages and we (his friends / acquaintances) are worried.

conchshell
07-23-2008, 02:53 PM
Taking a chill pill can only provide temporary relief from COLTS. It is observed that even after getting a GC, COLTS leaves some incurable side effects, like worrying for how long one should stay with his GC sponsoring employer. :)

Even after a GC cure, chances of COLTS re-appearing in later life are quite high ... specially during the citizenship application processing time frame :D

Hassan11
07-23-2008, 03:17 PM
:D I had tears in my eyes laughing after reading this post.

I ve seen many people in IV do this. very true

Thanks for the laughter


How about adding more diseases?

ROD - Red dot Obsession Disorder
I self diagnosed myself of this disorder and recovering :)

Symptoms...in mild cases.
1. PM admin and asking them to remove some red dots

Symptoms...in advanced cases.
1. Opening a new thread regarding red dots
2. Threatening to quit IV
3. Giving random people red dots out of frustration that the one who gave them is anonymous.

Mine was a mild case. You know I'm kidding guys....dont give me red dots now and push me into advanced stage of the disorder :P

mheggade
07-23-2008, 03:20 PM
One more sympton which is seasonal.

Affected in VB season.:)

consuming too many cell phone minutes , endlessly discussing how important/ not important to have soft LUD.

conchshell
07-23-2008, 03:38 PM
Does anyone knows if a LUD appears almost immediately after an officer updates the application, or it appears at the end of the business day, when batch processing takes place?

If this is a batch processing at the end of the business day, COLTS affected people will get some relief in their itching hands :p

GC_Optimist
07-23-2008, 03:54 PM
How about adding more diseases?

ROD - Red dot Obsession Disorder
I self diagnosed myself of this disorder and recovering :)

Symptoms...in mild cases.
1. PM admin and asking them to remove some red dots

Symptoms...in advanced cases.
1. Opening a new thread regarding red dots
2. Threatening to quit IV
3. Giving random people red dots out of frustration that the one who gave them is anonymous.

Mine was a mild case. You know I'm kidding guys....dont give me red dots now and push me into advanced stage of the disorder :P


good one . matches with your IV handle. :)

gccovet
07-23-2008, 04:23 PM
Does anyone knows if a LUD appears almost immediately after an officer updates the application, or it appears at the end of the business day, when batch processing takes place?

If this is a batch processing at the end of the business day, COLTS affected people will get some relief in their itching hands :p

Per great ICARUS, batch job happens late evening/night everyday including weekends.

Regards,
GCCovet

gjoe
07-23-2008, 05:41 PM
Can someone please explain the term "Soft LUD"? :D All jokes aside, this is one term I have still not figured out.

USCIS has a qualifying test for GC applicants. One of the important question in the chapter of LUD. They had two types of LUD discussed in the last edition (2006) of their GC study guide. I am not sure if there is any changes or addtions to this chapter. You can get the latest guide from the USCIS website. Please buy this guide and prepare well for the test. Good luck.

:)

nfinity
07-23-2008, 08:34 PM
I am pretty sure that people are looking at their USCIS portfolio more than their stock portfolio....

cygent
08-15-2008, 09:01 PM
Just recd. this message on USCIS site Friday evening :eek:

It was reported to us that your IP address or internet gateway has been locked out for a select period of time. This is due to an unusually high rate of use. In order to avoid this issue please take this opportunity to create a Customer account (single applicant) or a Representative account (representing many individuals, such as lawyers, charitable groups, or corporations). Each account allows you to generate a Portfolio of receipt numbers. Building a portfolio containing your receipt number(s) eliminates your need to manually enter the receipt number and extract each case status. You will automatically be emailed changes to each case as updates occur. This email notification will occur within 12 to 24 hours of any progress made for every receipt number contained in your portfolio. There is no lockout feature associated with your portfolio and there is no wasted time on your part checking a receipt number where no advancement has been made.

calboy78
08-15-2008, 09:20 PM
In last two days, my COLTS has reached its highest degree. People are asking me "why the hell do you have these letters imprinted on your fingers...e,g,o,v .." (because by default I just type egov in the address bar).
LOL